MASSACRE O' POCKETS
(aka dp cd reviews)

Common, "Be"
-ha, like y'all need another review of this jont! buy it, it's dope. but i will say this: i'd like my man to choose one of those PPP "BLAKA-BLAKA!" type beats- which brings me too....

Platinum Pied Pipers, "Triple P"
-man i enjoy this record... but will you like it? it starts off with J Dilla rhyming, which is usually a 50/50 'love it/hate it' proposition. it's got lots of Georgia Ann Muldrow on it- doooope, yet unorthodox enough that some 'don't get it'. Sa-Ra... minimalist funk- some of y'all prudes don't do audio porn. Tiombe Lockhart- does she get the 'i like my badu from badu' treatment? (not from me...) at the end of the day, i think that if you don't like this record, i can understand why- i'll just think less of you as a person. y'know- on some 'u kinda suck' time...

Mike Doughty, "Skittish/Rockity Roll" and "Haughty Melodic"
-Once upon a time there was a very dope and on dope group called Soul Coughing. Mike was the lead singer/songwriter/junkie. sobriety came right about the time Mike bounced from the now defunt SoulC (not to be confused with SoulCeez). Basically, if you like clever, evocative and occasionally vague turns of phrase, this is your guy. if you like freaked out musical soundscapes, go back and buy "irresistible bliss" and "el oso". Sk/RR are mostly acoustic and were self-released as dude toured the country solo for about 2yrs straight; "Haughty Melodic" is his ATO debut and is a band album. i like these records- corny 'keepin' it real' black people will not; thus this review ends right here by saying "Busting up a Starbucks" on HM is my jont...

Tamara Wellons, "Tamara in Wonderland" mix cd
-i know this woman and she's going to read this, yet i still shall speaketh my opinion: you are one helluva vocalist tamara. what we have here are some of the finest dance/soul/hip hop instrumentals being LOVELY-tized by the mellifluous vocals of Ms. Wellons. this is Lalah Hathaway/Amel Larrieux- caliber vocalizing. i've passed this jont around to friends and co-workers. the verdict is almost unanimous: your cd is getting rave reviews... from about track 6 onward. unfortunately, the conceptual skitwork is not. yet i still bang this jont about once a week... damn woman- you ain't learn from the 'skiterlude' fiascoes of the POEM-CEES?! the test is as follows: if it ain't equal to the Wu Tang "feedin' you & feedin' you..." skit, it can't be longer than 20 seconds and it probably should be left on the cutting room floor. yet i EMPHASIZE- twellons is worth CASH, skittage be damned.

Zion I, "True & Livin'"
-if this doesn't make my 'best of 2005' list, we are in for an incredible year of muzak. oddly enough this is the first Zion I album i've ever purchased, even though several cats told me a) check 'em out; and b) poem-cees' remind me of Zion I. so i can't rate this jont against their earlier work, but "True & Livin'" won't get out of my cd player. if there's any gripe to be had, it's perhaps a li'l too 'positive-ish'. and if you come up to me talking about that as a gripe when this jont is as dope as it is, i'm going to smack the lips off your face.

System of a Down, "Mesmerize"
-none of y'all will ride with me on this one. you can't get with guitars unless a shirtless black male pretty-boy is holding it. according to you, neo-soul was too soft, but you ain't never gon' be this hardcore in your life. my standouts are 'Revenga', 'Questions', 'Violent Pornography'... eff it- i like this album. Serj's wanton vocal absurdity is some crazy shit. SOAD is my shit. Daron Malakian's lyrics are sometimes shit. occasionally they are THE shit. i fear he may take the group down the same path Anthony Kiedis took RHCP. but i digress- the music? pretty much the most rhythmically adventurous thing going in rock & roll, except for maybe...

The Mars Volta, "Francis the Mute"
-aside from my much advertised Steely Dan/Jungle Brothers worship, i was raised on Rush. my older brother told me all the stats- neil peart= best rock drummer, geddy lee= best rock bassist, alex lifeson= good as any guitar player out there. well, The Mars Volta aren't going for that sort of reputation, but i'll be damned if they don't take me back to my days of screeching "WEEEE ARRRE THE PRIEEEESTS, OF THE TEMMMMPLE OFFFFF SYRINXXXX!" while playing the most accurate air guitar of anyone who has ever lived. plus "L'Via L'Viaquez" has John Frusciante solos on it. yup- now i gotta go back and massacre the pockets on the entire MV catalog.

Gaelle, "Transient"
-ha. these Naked Music cats kill me. first they put out all these vinyl records with illustrations of the finest woman humankind can imagine. now i cop this Gaelle jont, and she's just like the vinyl, BUT REAL!!! word up- i'm undergoing vast expansion just lookin' at this jont... but ya know, this is a record review- focus dude. OKAY- this is a pleasant record, except for the crazy girl song (fellas, do NOT do this woman wrong). but it never transcended 'pleasant'. shorty is a competent vocalist, but the music is a tad bit snoozy and the lyrics are pedestrian (except for the crazy girl song). my jonts are 'Separate Rooms' and the album cover
*picks up cd case, stares for hours*

Apex, "Apex Presents: A Theme For the Sky"
-dude, your record is highly enjoyable. Apex did 7 remixes of hip hop songs that just happen to be personal classics to me: Nice & Smooth "How to Flow", Pete Rock & CL Smooth "I'll Take You There", Unspoken Heard "It's About Time", Mic Geronimo "Masta I.C.", O.C. "Time's Up", and Public Enemy "Shut 'Em Down". i was amped about 6 of the 7, and the only reason he didn't hit a clean sweep for me is because Pete Rock already has the definitive "Shut 'Em Down" remix that stands as perhaps the greatest remix in remix history. in addition, you'll find 4 nice originals too... and one of 'em has Latino Gaugin rhyming on it! uh, i mean Asian Renoir! damn- what is that dude's name? anyways- thumbs up to Apex. file this under 'new school smooth boom bap'.

Joshua Redman Elastic Band, "Momentum"
-YO! why Joshua tryin' to pull a "Thrust" out of the hat with this one? the personnel is cruuuuuucial: Sam Yahel- keys, Jeff Ballard & Brian Blade- drums; guests- Eric Krasno, Stefon Harris, Meshell Ndegeocello, Kurt Rosenwinkel, Nicholas Payton, Peter Bernstein, and Ahmir Thonpson. 'Swunk' is that good audio-oxycontin; 'Greasy G' is 'nipple to nipple dance floor action. Kurt Rosenwinkel is hagiography-worthy. Stefon. damn, i feel like everybody else- i'm jocking Joshua Redman

that's all for now,
mo' power to Kemp Mill on 12th & F NW; they got a real nice vinyl re-issues section...

easy,
dp

naturalaw-dp - 1:24 PM
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6.05.2005