Stylus - 1:43 PM
---
1.26.2004
so we're going home from the set on saturday night- rolling down kenilworth towards 295 when all of the sudden:
BUMP.
we get tapped in the rear bumper.
rhome starts cursing.
rhome starts pulling over.
hair starts raising on the back of my neck
uh oh- "spidey senses" going off...
"dawg, lets be out- do NOT pull over"
rhome rolls out with a swiftness...
the car that hit us? old school american- maybe a crown victoria, or a buick lesabre, dark blue, limo-tint on the windows.
the "BUMP"? very inoffensive; smooth- almost felt intentional
now- do y'all know about the latest car jack hustle? the one where your car is hit from behind, causing you to curse, pull over and get out to exchange insurance info with the offending driver- at which point you come face to face with guns, hand over your wallet/watch/cell phone/etc. and watch the cats drive off in your car.
or, you lay in the street bleeding from the bullet wounds- unable to watch the cats drive off in your car.
if you were a li'l drunk and accidentally tapped someone, what would you do?
-pull over to apologize?
-bust a quick u-turn and scram?
-fade into the distance if the car you hit didn't stop?
here's what this cat did:
-he rolled real close behind us for about the next 3/4 mile, then he pulled up next to us, rode parallel for a hot sec, then jetted in front of us across 2 lanes of traffic to catch the east capitol exit.
[*note: no, we did NOT let that cat ride parallel on us; rhome earnhardt jr. skirted that potentially combustible situation]
oh yeah- he also had a ford suv rolling with him. at least it looked like they were rolling together.
and so goes another episode in the life of the group with the most aptly named lp in history: PARANOIA
ps. check this excerpt from the jan 15th washpost crime report:
-KENNEDY ST., 1400 block, 4:57 a.m. Dec. 27. A sport utility vehicle lightly tapped another vehicle from behind. When the other vehicle's 39-year-old driver got out to check for damage, a gunman and another male got out of the SUV and robbed him of his vehicle. The SUV was driven away by a third male.
naturalaw-dp - 11:59 PM
---
BUMP.
we get tapped in the rear bumper.
rhome starts cursing.
rhome starts pulling over.
hair starts raising on the back of my neck
uh oh- "spidey senses" going off...
"dawg, lets be out- do NOT pull over"
rhome rolls out with a swiftness...
the car that hit us? old school american- maybe a crown victoria, or a buick lesabre, dark blue, limo-tint on the windows.
the "BUMP"? very inoffensive; smooth- almost felt intentional
now- do y'all know about the latest car jack hustle? the one where your car is hit from behind, causing you to curse, pull over and get out to exchange insurance info with the offending driver- at which point you come face to face with guns, hand over your wallet/watch/cell phone/etc. and watch the cats drive off in your car.
or, you lay in the street bleeding from the bullet wounds- unable to watch the cats drive off in your car.
if you were a li'l drunk and accidentally tapped someone, what would you do?
-pull over to apologize?
-bust a quick u-turn and scram?
-fade into the distance if the car you hit didn't stop?
here's what this cat did:
-he rolled real close behind us for about the next 3/4 mile, then he pulled up next to us, rode parallel for a hot sec, then jetted in front of us across 2 lanes of traffic to catch the east capitol exit.
[*note: no, we did NOT let that cat ride parallel on us; rhome earnhardt jr. skirted that potentially combustible situation]
oh yeah- he also had a ford suv rolling with him. at least it looked like they were rolling together.
and so goes another episode in the life of the group with the most aptly named lp in history: PARANOIA
ps. check this excerpt from the jan 15th washpost crime report:
-KENNEDY ST., 1400 block, 4:57 a.m. Dec. 27. A sport utility vehicle lightly tapped another vehicle from behind. When the other vehicle's 39-year-old driver got out to check for damage, a gunman and another male got out of the SUV and robbed him of his vehicle. The SUV was driven away by a third male.
naturalaw-dp - 11:59 PM
---
Krunk was fun indeed, especially with free crabcake sammitches, beer, and the lunchbox cat that kept trying to do capoeira and was bumping the turntables.
As for heckling, I wonder why D-Pizzle chose not to air his clarifications on the front page (see entry #801). I personally would have relished the departure from the setlist that would have allowed the cornball to get served. I wouldn't have minded doing it myself actually. Peas Porridge in the pot, 9 days old....
Also, the open mic was cancelled not on our behalf (we aren't that important, they have performers every week) but more to keep a good vibe flowing on the dancefloor. (the spot is about 70% women, what are all you 8-mile wannabes thinking?!? go get yourself a one-night stand or something... rhyme with your boys later)
Oh yeah P., dude was actually about 600 pounds, and your boy DP really isn't that level-headed since he inquired as to how many X's he had on the tag of his BAGGY Gayle Sayers throwback. HAHAHAHA!!!
And on the continuing Paranoia front, I'll defer to D to tell the tale of the post-Krunk journey home.
Couch Barbie, where for art thou?
Stylus - 9:55 PM
---
1.25.2004
As for heckling, I wonder why D-Pizzle chose not to air his clarifications on the front page (see entry #801). I personally would have relished the departure from the setlist that would have allowed the cornball to get served. I wouldn't have minded doing it myself actually. Peas Porridge in the pot, 9 days old....
Also, the open mic was cancelled not on our behalf (we aren't that important, they have performers every week) but more to keep a good vibe flowing on the dancefloor. (the spot is about 70% women, what are all you 8-mile wannabes thinking?!? go get yourself a one-night stand or something... rhyme with your boys later)
Oh yeah P., dude was actually about 600 pounds, and your boy DP really isn't that level-headed since he inquired as to how many X's he had on the tag of his BAGGY Gayle Sayers throwback. HAHAHAHA!!!
And on the continuing Paranoia front, I'll defer to D to tell the tale of the post-Krunk journey home.
Couch Barbie, where for art thou?
Stylus - 9:55 PM
---
1.25.2004
[editors note: please don't get it twisted - despite the tone of this post, let it be known the POEM-CEES set at KRUNK! was so HOT that it HURT, and a rollicking good time was had by all]
Fellas,
Ref: Being almost heckled last night at KRUNK!
It's good to have Nat Law(yer) on my team. He's more level headed than I & has probably saved my life on more than one occasion. Here's the latest:
We are one song into our feature set at the lovely South Beach club (love that calamari!) when a voice shouts out from the back "now do something ORIGINAL!"
uh, poem-cees need to be more original????
wtf!
..now it should be noted that there is usually an open mike at this set which got nixed due to us being featured which left multiple mike fiends in the audience.
...but I knew who was talking
now, upon hearing that outburst my response was going to be "Hold up - who's back there telling ME to be original with a crew of eight niggas all dressed like Fabolous?"
but that could've gotten ugly
so instead my more sensible level-headed partner offers " Yo, I know cats are mad 'cuz the OPEN MIKE GOT CANCELLED, but don't take it out on us, we had nothing to do with that".
and that was that
It was actually good that I didn't get to respond like I wanted, cuz dude was about 6'3 300 pounds. He looked like he actually may have EATEN FABOLOUS.
thanks D, thanks Jesse, & everybody who came out.
originate this,
Pic!
blackpicasso - 4:03 PM
---
1.21.2004
Fellas,
Ref: Being almost heckled last night at KRUNK!
It's good to have Nat Law(yer) on my team. He's more level headed than I & has probably saved my life on more than one occasion. Here's the latest:
We are one song into our feature set at the lovely South Beach club (love that calamari!) when a voice shouts out from the back "now do something ORIGINAL!"
uh, poem-cees need to be more original????
wtf!
..now it should be noted that there is usually an open mike at this set which got nixed due to us being featured which left multiple mike fiends in the audience.
...but I knew who was talking
now, upon hearing that outburst my response was going to be "Hold up - who's back there telling ME to be original with a crew of eight niggas all dressed like Fabolous?"
but that could've gotten ugly
so instead my more sensible level-headed partner offers " Yo, I know cats are mad 'cuz the OPEN MIKE GOT CANCELLED, but don't take it out on us, we had nothing to do with that".
and that was that
It was actually good that I didn't get to respond like I wanted, cuz dude was about 6'3 300 pounds. He looked like he actually may have EATEN FABOLOUS.
thanks D, thanks Jesse, & everybody who came out.
originate this,
Pic!
blackpicasso - 4:03 PM
---
1.21.2004
The other day my alarm clock went off and turned on NPR like it always does, and the first thing I heard was HOWARD DEAN KIRKING THE KCUF OUT.
I was filled with terror and almost soiled myself.
It would have been better if it sounded like this though.
Stylus - 4:57 PM
---
1.19.2004
I was filled with terror and almost soiled myself.
It would have been better if it sounded like this though.
Stylus - 4:57 PM
---
1.19.2004
*ahem*
immortal technique is the truth.
(big ups to dj p-funk and kokayi for making me NOT sleep on dude; big ups to H.E.R. for bringing him to DC last nite)
anybody that ever dug KRS One would probably be open to ITech's work.
but enough about music.
how are YOU?
it's a new year, and i need to know what you plan to make of it
i can tell you that i'm writing some very nice lyrics.
i'm also paying my bills on time.
i'm reducing my dumb-ass expenses.
i'm NOT cutting my hair (yet).
i'm purging my domain of extraneous CRAP.
i'm not psyced- i'm serious.
i'm cutting back on porn and high fructose corn syrup
i'm not including new sneakers as a "dumb-ass expense"
i'ma call my momma more often- DJP too
blah blah blah...
and YOU?
wassup?
naturalaw-dp - 2:23 AM
---
1.13.2004
immortal technique is the truth.
(big ups to dj p-funk and kokayi for making me NOT sleep on dude; big ups to H.E.R. for bringing him to DC last nite)
anybody that ever dug KRS One would probably be open to ITech's work.
but enough about music.
how are YOU?
it's a new year, and i need to know what you plan to make of it
i can tell you that i'm writing some very nice lyrics.
i'm also paying my bills on time.
i'm reducing my dumb-ass expenses.
i'm NOT cutting my hair (yet).
i'm purging my domain of extraneous CRAP.
i'm not psyced- i'm serious.
i'm cutting back on porn and high fructose corn syrup
i'm not including new sneakers as a "dumb-ass expense"
i'ma call my momma more often- DJP too
blah blah blah...
and YOU?
wassup?
naturalaw-dp - 2:23 AM
---
1.13.2004
Big ups to the U.S. Park Police for confirming the continued relevence of our second full-length release. Paranoia for all!
What else am I paranoid about?
- my mailbox (always has bills in it)
- that weird dude I see on the Metro platform, I keep thinking he's going to push me in front of the train.
- everytime we have one of those serious cold snaps, the squirrels REALLY WANT TO COME INSIDE. I hear them trying to find a way into the attic.
- tankers falling on my car off of an overpass
...more to follow...
Stylus - 4:42 PM
---
1.10.2004
What else am I paranoid about?
- my mailbox (always has bills in it)
- that weird dude I see on the Metro platform, I keep thinking he's going to push me in front of the train.
- everytime we have one of those serious cold snaps, the squirrels REALLY WANT TO COME INSIDE. I hear them trying to find a way into the attic.
- tankers falling on my car off of an overpass
...more to follow...
Stylus - 4:42 PM
---
1.10.2004
hello,
i've been thinking...
[editor's note: "thinking"- where trouble usually begins for ya boy...]
before 'the ring', before 'nightmare on elm street', before 'friday the 13th', there was...
first, a little background: scary movies have always scared me.
as a kid, my parents brought me along to a nostalgia screening of "Phantom of the Opera". when the Phantom's mask came off, i screamed. not your typical short, high-pitched burst either... i screamed like a little boy with 3 Pavarotti-sized lungs. i screamed like i was auditioning for the Emergency Broadcast System. one look at that half-faced creature and i launched into a keening wail of despair, terror, and impending doom.
in fact, the audience never actually heard me stop- i only faded into the distance as my folks did the 'parental scramble of embarrasment' out of the theater....
this was my introduction to irrational fear.
now, the classics? Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman, The Mummy... i could handle them, because there always seemed to be a solution:
-Frankenstein: bein' a brotha, he never really scared me (see Paul Mooney, "Race" #10)
-Dracula: like Picasso, i LOVE garlic. next...
-Wolfman: cheap liquor & no sleep= me waking up in strange places with NO MEMORY of what happened, thus, in a sense i AM the Wolfman; next...
-Mummy: unwrap his ass, or more importantly, don't steal from Africa.
so, i got past the old guard of monsters with but a few exceptions, such as the time my big brother ambushed me with the 'glow in the dark' dracula teeth.
...until i became aware of "NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD"
[editor's note: there was also Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but ya boy ain't live in TX]
meteor shower, radiation leak, airborne pathogens- something happens to re-animate the dead in a rural area.... and here they come, freakishly twisted, dragging themselves in absolute silence to feed on the living...
i grew up in the backwoods with a sky full of stars, no neighbors, and the lights of a nuclear plant twinkling in the distance.
this sh*t seemed plausible
funny thing is, i never actually saw the movie. the mere concept was enough fuel for my overactive imagination to work with... and michael jackson's ass ain't help with that "Thriller" video.
but i tried to play it off- i even watched the bastard offspring of "Night...", laughing at teenage zombies with a lust for BRAAAAAINS, but underneath the bravado?
this sh*t seemed plausible
now, it's 2004.
they've been showing the cows, man...
writhing in fury. MAD.
apparently, some genius decided to feed them their OWN BRAINS
-i'd be mad too.
it's gotten into the system. our nice, neat beef distribution system...
WHAT?!?!
did you say our food has been contaminated by the insane flesh of an animal driven MAD by experiments in forced bovine cannibalism? HUH? IT'S CONTAGIOUS?!?!
"only one cow though- canadian at that; you know how harmless canadians are..."
hmmm- i already showed y'all what happens when canadians attack.
suddenly, childhood fears seem capable of withstanding adult scrutiny.
i see it
mcgruder sees it
[editor's note: did i just hear a jaw clench? muted groan? no? oh... carry on]
the writings on the wall, y'all
that orange alert ain't about swarthy men looking for a ticket to claim 50 virgins
you WILL find me at home depot in the deadbolt department, stocking up; i'd tell you about the "pound of prevention", but DC has not authorized me to speak on that yet...
when you wake up next month with a zombie gnawing on your femur, don't act like you weren't warned...
PARANOIA, baby- paranoia
ps. happy new cannibal terrorist ready to live year.
pps. no, it is not strange that i'm up at 5:13am writing about the cannibal revolution
ppps. yes, we are in the lab preparing to release 2 records this year
naturalaw-dp - 4:01 AM
---
1.4.2004
i've been thinking...
[editor's note: "thinking"- where trouble usually begins for ya boy...]
before 'the ring', before 'nightmare on elm street', before 'friday the 13th', there was...
first, a little background: scary movies have always scared me.
as a kid, my parents brought me along to a nostalgia screening of "Phantom of the Opera". when the Phantom's mask came off, i screamed. not your typical short, high-pitched burst either... i screamed like a little boy with 3 Pavarotti-sized lungs. i screamed like i was auditioning for the Emergency Broadcast System. one look at that half-faced creature and i launched into a keening wail of despair, terror, and impending doom.
in fact, the audience never actually heard me stop- i only faded into the distance as my folks did the 'parental scramble of embarrasment' out of the theater....
this was my introduction to irrational fear.
now, the classics? Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman, The Mummy... i could handle them, because there always seemed to be a solution:
-Frankenstein: bein' a brotha, he never really scared me (see Paul Mooney, "Race" #10)
-Dracula: like Picasso, i LOVE garlic. next...
-Wolfman: cheap liquor & no sleep= me waking up in strange places with NO MEMORY of what happened, thus, in a sense i AM the Wolfman; next...
-Mummy: unwrap his ass, or more importantly, don't steal from Africa.
so, i got past the old guard of monsters with but a few exceptions, such as the time my big brother ambushed me with the 'glow in the dark' dracula teeth.
...until i became aware of "NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD"
[editor's note: there was also Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but ya boy ain't live in TX]
meteor shower, radiation leak, airborne pathogens- something happens to re-animate the dead in a rural area.... and here they come, freakishly twisted, dragging themselves in absolute silence to feed on the living...
i grew up in the backwoods with a sky full of stars, no neighbors, and the lights of a nuclear plant twinkling in the distance.
this sh*t seemed plausible
funny thing is, i never actually saw the movie. the mere concept was enough fuel for my overactive imagination to work with... and michael jackson's ass ain't help with that "Thriller" video.
but i tried to play it off- i even watched the bastard offspring of "Night...", laughing at teenage zombies with a lust for BRAAAAAINS, but underneath the bravado?
this sh*t seemed plausible
now, it's 2004.
they've been showing the cows, man...
writhing in fury. MAD.
apparently, some genius decided to feed them their OWN BRAINS
-i'd be mad too.
it's gotten into the system. our nice, neat beef distribution system...
WHAT?!?!
did you say our food has been contaminated by the insane flesh of an animal driven MAD by experiments in forced bovine cannibalism? HUH? IT'S CONTAGIOUS?!?!
"only one cow though- canadian at that; you know how harmless canadians are..."
hmmm- i already showed y'all what happens when canadians attack.
suddenly, childhood fears seem capable of withstanding adult scrutiny.
i see it
mcgruder sees it
[editor's note: did i just hear a jaw clench? muted groan? no? oh... carry on]
the writings on the wall, y'all
that orange alert ain't about swarthy men looking for a ticket to claim 50 virgins
you WILL find me at home depot in the deadbolt department, stocking up; i'd tell you about the "pound of prevention", but DC has not authorized me to speak on that yet...
when you wake up next month with a zombie gnawing on your femur, don't act like you weren't warned...
PARANOIA, baby- paranoia
ps. happy new cannibal terrorist ready to live year.
pps. no, it is not strange that i'm up at 5:13am writing about the cannibal revolution
ppps. yes, we are in the lab preparing to release 2 records this year
naturalaw-dp - 4:01 AM
---
1.4.2004
a toast to '04!!!
rush is gully for the quad...
(translation: alex from rush is still feeling his oats in the year 2004)
naturalaw-dp - 4:21 AM
---
1.3.2004
rush is gully for the quad...
(translation: alex from rush is still feeling his oats in the year 2004)
naturalaw-dp - 4:21 AM
---
1.3.2004
Are everyone’s glasses filled?
Then A TOAST to the ’03!
- To Daniel Askari who's two and can already sing better than daddy
- To the ride to/thru/and back from St. Louis - a moment of horrified silence for the dozen or so mangled carcasses seen lying along the highway, to the rediscovery of Art Official Intelligence and to the joys of listening to Maktub at 80 MPH
- To a year that saw the POEM-CEES being included on 3 different compilation albums in 2003
the school of emceeing
the midnite forum mixtape Vol. 1
and the CD Baby Hip Hop Compilation
To those random people from all over the country who call the 800 number & leave those paranoid sounding messages - you make my day
To Al & Stacy - y’all are beautiful - aint luv grand?
To the Spinners for singing the sweetest melodies in Rhythm & Blues
To Timbaland for all of my favorite beats this year
To Kelis - I shall carry a CRAZY STRAW with me for the rest of my days
To DC’s very own Mad C.E.O.for all the material you’ve given me
To females who twist/braid hair - the haircut strike is still in effect, so I can REALLY appreciate your skills now. Come on & braiiiiiiid myyyyyy haaaaaaair……
To "The Portable Promised Land" by Toure’ - the recipient of this years "Best book since the Bible Award" He has created a world where black is so beautiful that just holding the book makes me smile.
To Jay-Z for his masterful Black Album - the 1st Hova CD I ever buy is supposedly his last, but I doubt it. If Too Short couldn’t stay away, then I know Jay won’t. Nice gimmick, though.
To Kamillah for looking out & calling us back to DPJ
To Leslye for being the visionary that she is
To Risi for doin Lil So So proud
To Tam-Rock for upping the ante
and finally to my POEM-CEE brothers for their ingenuity in "word createment" & their ability to take phrases and "respeech" them (both words copyright by Twain Dooley - DC Slam Team), words like:
Ambis - coined by Stylus see Paranoia track #9
Flark - coined by Stylus
Love Pimp - coined by Nat Law
U.F.O. - ugly face orgasm
Jewel-encrusted Forehead-Butt - Navasha from Fertile Grounds finishing move if she were an ultimate fighter
Sexy Nukka Scuffle - coined by Nat Law December 2003 on Divinecipher.com - any physical confrontation between two or more sensitive artist types - this could include poets, r&b or jazz vocalists, visual artists, dancers, & certain types of MC’s.
we have created several names for a well-proportioned physical characteristic:
Elgin Lumpkin - and we DON’T mean the singer
The Kick
and Doink Points - Only the brothers down at Alice Mae’s can understand
…and finally, to the BEST comic currently running in the papers, the one that always delivers - the "Fresh for ’03 Award" goes to….That’s right
Pearls Before Swine
catch your breath, everyone - I've got a feeling Zero-Four's gonna be a doozy.
out like -
Nina, Barry & Gregory
Pic!
blackpicasso - 3:41 PM
---
...Can't remember all the witticisms, advice, info and foolishness? Peep the archives...
Then A TOAST to the ’03!
- To Daniel Askari who's two and can already sing better than daddy
- To the ride to/thru/and back from St. Louis - a moment of horrified silence for the dozen or so mangled carcasses seen lying along the highway, to the rediscovery of Art Official Intelligence and to the joys of listening to Maktub at 80 MPH
- To a year that saw the POEM-CEES being included on 3 different compilation albums in 2003
the school of emceeing
the midnite forum mixtape Vol. 1
and the CD Baby Hip Hop Compilation
To those random people from all over the country who call the 800 number & leave those paranoid sounding messages - you make my day
To Al & Stacy - y’all are beautiful - aint luv grand?
To the Spinners for singing the sweetest melodies in Rhythm & Blues
To Timbaland for all of my favorite beats this year
To Kelis - I shall carry a CRAZY STRAW with me for the rest of my days
To DC’s very own Mad C.E.O.for all the material you’ve given me
To females who twist/braid hair - the haircut strike is still in effect, so I can REALLY appreciate your skills now. Come on & braiiiiiiid myyyyyy haaaaaaair……
To "The Portable Promised Land" by Toure’ - the recipient of this years "Best book since the Bible Award" He has created a world where black is so beautiful that just holding the book makes me smile.
To Jay-Z for his masterful Black Album - the 1st Hova CD I ever buy is supposedly his last, but I doubt it. If Too Short couldn’t stay away, then I know Jay won’t. Nice gimmick, though.
To Kamillah for looking out & calling us back to DPJ
To Leslye for being the visionary that she is
To Risi for doin Lil So So proud
To Tam-Rock for upping the ante
and finally to my POEM-CEE brothers for their ingenuity in "word createment" & their ability to take phrases and "respeech" them (both words copyright by Twain Dooley - DC Slam Team), words like:
Ambis - coined by Stylus see Paranoia track #9
Flark - coined by Stylus
Love Pimp - coined by Nat Law
U.F.O. - ugly face orgasm
Jewel-encrusted Forehead-Butt - Navasha from Fertile Grounds finishing move if she were an ultimate fighter
Sexy Nukka Scuffle - coined by Nat Law December 2003 on Divinecipher.com - any physical confrontation between two or more sensitive artist types - this could include poets, r&b or jazz vocalists, visual artists, dancers, & certain types of MC’s.
we have created several names for a well-proportioned physical characteristic:
Elgin Lumpkin - and we DON’T mean the singer
The Kick
and Doink Points - Only the brothers down at Alice Mae’s can understand
…and finally, to the BEST comic currently running in the papers, the one that always delivers - the "Fresh for ’03 Award" goes to….That’s right
Pearls Before Swine
catch your breath, everyone - I've got a feeling Zero-Four's gonna be a doozy.
out like -
Nina, Barry & Gregory
Pic!
blackpicasso - 3:41 PM
---
...Can't remember all the witticisms, advice, info and foolishness? Peep the archives...