With apologies to the yearly Rock-Steady reunion…
The Olympics are upon us again, and with the pervasiveness of hip-hop culture all over the world, I’ve been wondering what It would be like to have some hip-hop related events.

FREESTYLE COMPETITION
Not freestyle swimming or gymnastics – just freestyle
Competitors are given a minute & 30 seconds to come off the top in different categories ranging from stream of consciousness rhymes where anything goes to topical freestyles.
All competitors must use the same beat by DJ Premier in each round, but for extra difficulty points MC’s can opt for beats provided by Kokayi.


SLAM POETRY
This is practically an Olympic event already. The problem with poetry is that EVERYONE with a pen & paper can write a poem but everybody aint a poet. So the best way to whittle down the competition I think would be to just take the top 5 poets from nationals & that would make up the U.S. Olympic Slam Team. I'm only ranked #18 but I'm cute, so I gues that would make me like the Anna Kornukovia of poetry. (PS: I'm pissed that they only list the top 15)


DOUBLES RHYMING
POEM-CEES would be the Mark Spitzes of this event.

BEATBOX COMPETITION
Or “the beatbox battle” popularized by the POEM-CEES around 2000
Each competitor gets 30 seconds to create music using only their body & nothing else.
Judges score according to dynamics, how it looks visually, how much it sounds like the original beat (if doing a cover tune) and crowd response.

B-BOY DECATHALON
Competitors must excel in numerous physically demanding hip-hop related events, including.

Floorwork - breakdancing moves are no longer allowed in gymnastics floor exercises
We’ve got out own thang – let them get theirs

Tagging obstacle course - Graf artists must move quickly & undetected thru a maze of trains, fences, tracks & “hot’ rails (that aren’t charged), leaving tags at various predetermined points in a certain amount of time.

DJ’ing competition - winners of the DMC & other organized competitions combine to create the U.S. Olympic DJ Team. Stylus, any ideas on how the bouts should run?

And just for fun…

Heavy Metal 100 meters - Your favorite MC’s race for the gold wearing ALL of their platinum; rings, Jesus pieces, diamond ice picks, ruby crowns, whatever they bought – they gotta wear it. You haven’t seen a race till you’ve seen Ghostface sprinting while hugging himself to keep from getting slapped in the face by his dinner-plate medallion.
The extra weight & awkwardness of their “equipment” make this one of the funniest Olympic events to watch – also the most dangerous to participate in.
Cat's don’t realize this is how Slick Rick really lost his eye.


Pic!


blackpicasso - 2:27 PM
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