6.24.2003
first things first: SHOWSHOWSHOW on friday 6/27/03 @Club 5 (1218 18th St. NW), doors at 6pm, poem-cees at 8pm, Zwei immediately thereafter so don't be late...

but really?
since picasso has gone public with private e-mails, i will now take my turn to publicize a very controversial and ('til now) private POEM-CEES debate:

"Is Hip Hop Stupid?"

without naming names, here are the current stances
-one of us thinks hip hop is stupid.
-one of us loves and believes in hip hop
-one of us has let go of hip hop

this convo stems from the inevitable "too" phenomenon. see, we are TOO:
-uh, mature to be the target of the marketing folks over at 106th & Park.
-corny to be the target of the marketing folks over at bad boy/fabolous/r kelly land.
-cool to be the target of the angst/anger ridden self-proclaimed UNDERGROUND rapper.
-responsible to roll with the ultra-gangster "kill, kill, kill" records
-irresponsible to roll with the pious, pure 'new spirituality' records
-simple for the overly-technical and complex rapper
-complex for the overly-simple and plain rapper

...and finally, TOO CONTRADICTORY TO UPHOLD THESE PRINCIPALS
(see MOP, ludacris, cannibal ox, devin the dude, and free's booty)

so, grappling with these issues whilst struggling to live as adults on this ball of confusion aka planet earth has us questioning various things which we used to take for granted. such as...

Is Hip Hop Stupid?

i would like to offer the following anaylsis:

joeski love? stupid
fat boys? stupid
the movie "Wildstyle"? not stupid
jazzy jeff & fresh prince? stupid
whodini? upon closer inspection, they were a soul group
run dmc? upon closer inspection, they were heavy metal
beastie boys? stupid
third bass? incredibly stupid
slick rick? stupid fresh
ll cool j? has ALWAYS been stupid
kool moe dee? smart rhymes + stupid glasses= stupid
public enemy? 75% genius, 25% stupid
rakim? not stupid...until 'check the technique
the movie "breakin'"? stupid
krs one? bamboozler; STUPID-ized with age
x-clan? stuuuuuuupid
nice & smooth? stupid (ask dizzy gillespie)
wreckx n' effect? dumber than a bag o' rocks
BBD? top shelf stupidity
de la soul? smartest stupid hip hop ever (but still stupid)
del the funkeehomosapien? mega-stupid
brand nubian? stupid
pharcyde? stupid (obviously)
pete rock & cl smooth? see whodini comments
tupac? doomed by bishop from "juice" movie image
bishop from "juice" movie? stupid
biggie? smartupid
jay z? became un-smart after nas battle
nas? went from smart to stupid... jay z battle "re-smarted" him
outkast? good stupid about to go bad... (pray that i'm wrong)
POEM-CEES? the future of stupid hip hop

Conclusion: hip hop has always been stupid- and it's created songs that i love

comments? curses? questions?
GUESTBOOK

i can back up every single claim i made (except the last one)

easy,
naturalstupidlaw

ps. cypress hill, lost boyz, blackalicious, epmd, big daddy kane, camp lo, nine, candyman, hammer, kwame, baby the birdman and wu tang clan? GIMME a "S" [S!!!] GIMME a "T" [T!!!] GIMME a "U" ...

naturalaw-dp - 8:02 PM
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6.23.2003
From: POEM-CEES Customer Service Department

Dear tunescds7 and dwilson148:

It has come to our attention that you have placed previously owned copies of our 1st and 2nd albums on the open market. You are valued customers and we'd like to ask for a small portion of your time to help us gather data that will be used for future product development. Please choose as many explanations as are applicable that describe the exodus of our cd's from your precious music collections.

  • "The 180" gave me a seizure.

  • DP talks too much.

  • "Jay" made me cry

  • "Keloid Suite" gave me nightmares.

  • "Fat White Men In Suits" is racially insensitive.

  • "Land of the Ambis" is gender and ethnicity insensitive.

  • "Sha-Sha" is insensitive to varying sexual orientations (re: "...mix with wack mc's like lesbians and jism")
  • I'm running a POEM-CEES bootleg operation out of my basement that will provide seed money for my POEM-CEES memorabilia syndicate that I will start on Ebay. The spammers told me to do it.

  • I ripped the songs on to my computer to keep for myself and am selling the discs to help spread the joy of POEM-CEES to other citizens of the earth

  • I ripped the songs on to my computer to keep for myself and am selling the discs to scam loot off of trendoid trucker hat wearing music cognoscenti that pore over obsure pop culture periodicals and have ordained POEM-CEES (and team beat-boxing) as "the next big thing".

  • I have purchased multiple copies of both your albums because I know you need money for diapers, hard cider and hull-less caramel corn. As long as I keep the autographed copies for my personal shrine to Slam God Patrick Washington I can sell the others in good conscience as I am doing my part to make the world a better place.

  • "Joe Theisman" confounds me

  • None of the above


    • Thank you for your patronage.

    Stylus - 1:13 AM
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    6.22.2003
    HEY EVERYBODY!!!
    time for the inaugural episode of "CONNECT THE DOTS"
    -it's a real simple game for simple people (like me)!

    ready? ooooookaaaayyy...
    today, we start off with an easy one:

    herbie hancock
    india.arie
    akinyele

    CONNECT THE DOTS!!!
    all hypotheses/speculation/guesses/answers should go right here

    easy,
    Knob Barker

    ps. by 'inaugural', i mean first... cuz fo' real, you might not know that...bein' off the "fabolous" and whatnot

    naturalaw-dp - 5:07 PM
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    6.20.2003
    Flash back almost 3 years with me
    Now, imagine it's really really cold....

    ya there yet?

    okay here goes...

    E-mail from: "blackpicasso"
    To: "naturalaw"
    Subject: I'm leaving the group
    Date: Fri, 29 Dec 2000 09:47:32

    Dear Mr, I'm-too-good-to-call-or-write-back-my-friends...
    This will be the last letter I EVER send your monkey ass!


    Hope you & DJ Hunted had a wonderful Christmas/Kwanzaa cause I sure did. So wonderful that I've been thinking....

    You know how when YOU visit your girl you have to go up north & freeze....HA! I GET TO COME TO SUNNY FLORIDA & LAY ON THE BEACH WITH MY GIRL & WATCH HALF NAKED HOOCHIES WALK BY! OH YAY-YERRR!!!!

    Me & Mane were at my sister's house talking about poetry & my sisters friend started talkin about the greatest poet she's ever heard before in her life & he did a show at Bethune College & Oh My Gawd he's so dope & blah blah... I'm like who is it... and she hands me a CD of....Faraji Salim! Dude, I think my eyes started bleeding. That cat is everywhere!
    I made everyone in the room by our CD.

    We were at this jiggy jazz/poetry club & they wouldn't put any of us (me Mane or Tami) on until... these guys who saw us at the Imperial before came in & saw me started yelling across the room like It was the return of 2 Pac OH SNAP IT'S THE POEM-CEE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN JACKSONVILLE!!! PLEASE YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING! So they went & made the host put all of us on & we all slayed em....There was so much love in the room (sniff!)

    We'll there you have it, Bichnigguz I'm out the group I'm never returning. I'm staying where It's warm & people appreciate my talents.
    I've got a couple of gigs & me & Al Letson (who says hi) are starting a group called SwingLow, So really & truly from the bottom of my heart F**k You, or no, better yet...go work on your golf swing with Jali D....

    the artist formerly known as cold.....

    E-mail from: "naturalaw"
    To: "blackpicasso"
    Subject: I'm leaving the group
    Date: Sat. 30 Dec 2000 03:22:46

    aaaaaaaah yes, a message from p-whippo, i mean p-casso. your wit is quickly digestable- odd, considering
    it probably took you 3hrs to compose that 'funny' little bit o' scribblin'. i have seen jacksonville, my man
    50,000,000,000,000 grand- and if you are laying on a beach there, beware of the wild grass, sand ticks,
    and leather-faced locals who populate that abysmal hellhole in abundance. admit it- you will stay because
    you DO NOT OWN A WINTER COAT. IT IS OK. WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS ONE STEP
    AWAY FROM CATCHING YOUR DEATH. WHAT WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND IS WHY YOU CONTINUE
    TO SPEND YOUR ILL-BEGOTTEN DOLLARS (copper, fuzz, jake) ON PREMIUM ORANGE JUICE AND
    HIGH GRADE GARLIC. THE $$$ YOU HAVE SPENT ON A SUPERSTITIOUS, HURDY-GUDY VOODOO
    REMEDY WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH FOR THE FINEST OF WINTER WEARS- YOU COULD HAVE
    BEEN A CODE-FREAKIN' MAGAZINE WINTER FASHION CENTERFOLD BY NOW- but you chose to invest
    in the toxic fart potion instead.

    funny.

    i will research the history of white picasso to see if he too was a madman...

    tell ya fam-a-lamma i said hello and nappy holidays

    just joking about j-ville: i love florida (damn, damn, damn James)

    deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee p



    blackpicasso -     2:01 PM
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    6.11.2003

    I need to write a poem
    I need to just get lost/find a quiet spot where
    He can't just walk uppppppppppppp and lay on the keyboard
    THAT's the main distraction, actually
    although Daniel Askari inspires more & more poetry in me these days
    he's approaching two
    which means he's also making me lose more poems -
    "EUREKA! I've just thought of a poem that will save mankind from itself & make me immortal! Daniel! take that outta your mouth! Come back here! Give that to me........Thank you. okay, now, what's for lunch...."
    When I 1st started performing my poetry, I was a prolific muhfucka, banging out a poem a day sometimes (although like most new poets, alotta my shit was wick-wickety wack but I was too much of a pyscebox to notice), but now, my creativity's movin' faster than my body is.
    ...And no, I aint sayin' that I'm old (don't START with me, you!) just that I need more time...
    unless...
    I scattered a box of Daniels 64's everywhere
    so no matter where I went, I could write

    I'd keep crimson in my back pocket
    I'd keep burnt sienna in the bathroom
    I'd lay magenta underneath my pillow
    and ocean blue in my desk at work
    I'd save violet for Her
    and forest green for Him
    tangerine for when it's hot
    purple for cold weather
    and amber for emergencies....hmmm
    maybe I can do this after all.

    "excuse me while I whip this out"

    Pic!



    blackpicasso -     11:39 AM
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    6.9.2003
    SUP!

    to those who came out to the SOB's show, we ALL (Darian/poem-cees/Zwei) thank you for your presence...

    big ups to BOLA MARGE & Soul City for making it happen

    Extra special thanks to Lil SoSo & Crew for holdin' thangs down magnificently

    it was good to see Abby Dobson in the house
    (there's a really inappropriate "Pocahantas" joke i could make right there, but i got my filters on...)

    Ray Llanos was there with camera in hand- flicks soon come

    Maritza came to the show!!! the Witch Doc was posted up in the corner with Mos Dies(el) husband Clifton "Kong" Coleman

    SEED & AARON HENRY were BOTH in the house in FULL EFFECT!!!

    Louis & Beth came, saw & conquered
    (didn't know y'all got busy like that on the dance floor)

    my namesake, James Darrell Broach, was the King of VIP's- kicking back with the lovely Geraldine Ryan

    and of course- Pimp Daddy was Pimpin'
    (when y'all ain't singin' backup for darian, caaaaaallll me...)

    that's all for now- i'm sure the brotherhood will add on...

    easy,
    dp


    naturalaw-dp -     6:39 PM
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    6.6.2003
    SHOTGUN!!!!
    probability that these things will happen on the ride up to SOB's...

    Stylus will fart & deny it 72%
    Risikat will talk Chooky's head off 84%
    Natlaw will sit & worry quietly about everything 61%
    Von will say "dude" 68%
    Natlaw will say "man" 78%
    Queen Takeyah will say "peace" 88%
    the Beady Belle CD will be played 77%
    the Zwei CD will be played 91%
    the Paranoia CD will be played 36%
    the Jungle Brothers "Done By the Forces of Nature" will be played 73%
    There will be fights over what CD to play 100%
    Picasso will not have money for any of the tolls 49%
    Leslye will roll her eyes at all of us 52%
    TamRock will have to sing unruly passengers to sleep 50%
    Biscut will try to armwestle everybody 75%
    Bushead Ed will bring a vintage issue of "Players" magazine (Jayne Kennedy cover), a chicken breast sandwich & at least one G-Gundam action figure 44%
    Bert will be "Pimp Daddy" for at least half of the trip 100%


    blackpicasso -     7:46 AM
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    6.1.2003
    okay-
    so i'm watching the willie nelson birthday special...
    -why? cuz i knew cats would get busy, and that's what i like to watch- cats gettin' busy

    so anyways, i'm watching the show, and they do a little three man version of "a song for you".
    most folk i know think of donnie hathaway when thinking of that song, but this performance featured:
    -leon russell, the author of the song
    -willie nelson, the birthday boy; and finally
    -ray charles, the inspiration for this post

    now, leon goes first-     he looks like cowboy santa claus and writes incredible songs.
    then willie comes in with his trademark vocals- never more than exactly what's necessary.
    each took one stanza

    ray charles took the rest.
    took it there...

    when i say ray took it home, i'm here to tell ya, RAY TOOK IT HOME...

    i was hurt up in my own living room, tears 'n all
    willie was all tremble-lipped, about to break down on stage
    leon stopped playing his own song and just watched.

    ray charles, at that moment, was living proof that god exists.
    i'm not exaggerating.
    and the wild part is, he does it EVERY TIME!
    ray charles with a ballad in hand is more likely to produce tears than onion-flavored contact lenses
    dunno how long we'll have the brother with us on this planet, but savor those moments and give thanks for those blessed with the unique ability to reach into your body and massage your soul.

    special thanks/wishes go out to:
    luther vandross (get better sir)
    barry white (get better sir)
    nina simone (girl, you get all the sugar in your bowl that you can stand...)
    anita baker (welcome back- you've been missed)
    isley brothers (i can look past your current association with pedophile #1)
    pete rock & cl smooth (WeR.O.Y.)
    mary j. blige (you. belong. on. this. list.)
    stevie wonder (of course)
    a tribe called quest (bonita, bonita, bonita)
    U2 (still making great records)
    james taylor (dope as ever)

    and the list goes on...
    please feel free to add on HERE

    easy,
    dp


    naturalaw-dp - 4:06 AM
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    ...Can't remember all the witticisms, advice, info and foolishness? Peep the archives...