[editors note: daniel askari is a bouncing 14 month old baby b-boy, untainted by the evils of modern society- pay attention, for his insight is pure]

Back by popular demand….It's DANIEL ASKARI's CEE-DEEZ It's been a long time, he shouldn't have left you…but Funky Brewsters been busy participating in the Poem-cees haircut strike, making forays into the world of modeling , trying his hand at producing, and learning goofy faces from the fellas. A reminder - Dan-Tan was fed & well rested prior to any listening session to cut out any discomfort factors - ready?
OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE BOTTLES…

Boards of Canada "Geogaddi"
FOUR AND A HALF BOTTLES
I left the room for a second & when I returned, he was reading the CD cover like "who the hell IS this? What track is this? ". DP said that this was good music for sleeping. Well, with its great rhythms & weird synth sounds it's also apparently a good soundtrack for baby-exploring as he crawls around looking for stuff to get into.

Cooly's Hot Box "Take It"
ONE BOTTLE
Daniel said "hold on a second, baby" & looked up from his Elmo Talking Phone to ask "Dad can you turn that down a little, please?" I said "but son, this is Coolys, they're dope". Dan smirked & said "sounds a little Brand New Heavyish, donchya think?" "Yeah, so…what's wrong with the Heavies?". Daniel just turned away "ANYway, where was I?" Damn, son…

Julie Dexter "Dexterity"
TWO AND A HALF BOTTLES
Liked "God Bless the Dub" the best - I personally loved "Faith", but this aint about me. He enjoyed the music but I think he wanted to hear a little more percussion - he'd grab a toy & began banging on stuff along with the music. Dan could give her a better review, but he's gonna hold out 'till she comes thru with that Poem-cees collabo they talked about. He's such a Benzino…

Opus Akoben "Raw Life"
THREE BOTTLES
My boy loves lyrics and this is the perfect CD for him - He sat intently for a long time - it seemed like he was checking out the differences in each of the MC's voices. Responded to Black Indians' voice the most - (next on Jerry Springer - "help - my son's a ruffneck"). Didn't seem too moved by the beats, though.

Slum Village "Trinity"
FOUR BOTTLES
Vice versa on this one - He stood up & jumped around hollering at most of the songs - but didn't seem to care to listen to what they were saying - apparently this one is just mindless fun good for only the Rumpus (Ruckus) Room or lighting up a fat one while chillin' in the crib (literally).

Jungle Brothers "All That We Do"
ONE BOTTLE
Good Workout music - Me & Dan did pushups & baby-robics to the beat'chall . Afterwards I asked him what he thought of the lyrics, his response - "Oh, was someone saying something? All I heard was ..'a-HA! YO! You In My Hut Now'… didn't they do that song like 10 years ago? " I sent him to his room with a copy of "Done by the Forces…" to think about what he had said - NO ONE talks about the JayBeez like that…. No one.

Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince "He's the DJ I'm the Rapper"
FOUR AND A HALF BOTTLES
Loved it - I could tell he really appreciated the production values - he sang along with some of the more melodic songs ("Naaaanaaaaaaa.."). Seemed to like Will Smith's vocal inflections. Will should consider doing a children's educational program - he's done just about everydaggonething else.

Beastie Boys "Paul's Boutique"
NO BOTTLES
Thought he would love the sonic smorgasbord & all the MC's funny-ass voices, but-um-er-a… he wasn't feeling any of it. At all. Cried through the whole beginning. I stopped the record at "Egg Man"….well, after it went off…. I love that song.

Brown Sugar Soundtrack
HALF A BOTTLE
When did you First Fall in Love with Hip Hop? When it didn't sound so forced. There were a couple of standouts, but we napped thru most of this joint….

Droopy
TWO AND A HALF BOTTLES
Droopy's a DC-based poet doin' his thing & since I likted-ed his CD so much, I figured I'd give Dan-Yo a try. He liked it fine, Listened well enough, but like any kid, he gets tired of being talked to for so long & by track #4 he was on to something else like pulling his socks off & stuffing them in his mouth. Although a great posse cut Featuring Sir Reigns & some other cats popped up somewhere around track #7 & got his attention.

Poem-cees "Paranoia"
FOUR BOTTLES
He loved 83.6 % of it - of course Pops has the coolest voice & he be diggin' Unca DP & Romey Rhome. Particularly liked "Glasses" & "SIWBY" - but he Absolutely HATED "Cheatin on me" that song overstimulated him, I think. He cried 'till I went to the next song. For some reason, he thinks "Blah Blah: is hilarious! I guess because we keep rhyming over each others verses….

ANYONE WITH BEEF OVER THESE REVIEWS SHOULD TAKE THEM UP WITH MR ASKARI AT THE NEXT POEMCEES PERFORMANCE THIS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13TH.

Gallery 409
409 North Charles Street (Charles & Mulberry) Baltimore Md.
Doors @ 8pm - hosted by KOMPLEX
Open mic w/ guest feature MIKO
Featuring DJ Stylus & the Band
COPIES OF THE PARANOIA PROJECT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR $10
After-party 'till 2 with a DJ
Admission $10 - $5 with student I.D.
For more info call 410 203 3295

- PIC!

Stylus - 1:58 PM
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12.11.2002